*everything, *everything: home for thoughts.

about this:unfo.
thicker than water:Friends.
hindsight:Calendar.
good/bad, happy/sad:Memories.
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Saturday, December 4th, 2010

Subject:Sometimes...
Time:3:39 am.
I think I would like to kill myself with this song on repeat.

Share Your Mind: If You Have Some Time.

Sunday, March 4th, 2007

Subject:from here on out
Time:7:40 pm.
Mood: depressed.
Share Your Mind: (8) | If You Have Some Time.

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006

Subject:right now
Time:12:36 am.
Mood: worried.
Share Your Mind: (4) | If You Have Some Time.

Tuesday, February 21st, 2006

Time:4:08 pm.
Mood: tired.
"Go on, go on in thy might; and let no man make thee afraid."

such poetry.
Share Your Mind: If You Have Some Time.

Monday, December 26th, 2005

Subject:shit, this journal is ancient.
Time:4:59 am.
Mood: hungry.
yet i will not update its attributes quite yet.

things change.
i've changed.
word life life is unlike words, it's like living, breathing verbs.

i'm still flexing my lungs through the slats of this translucent acrylic cage
pulsating rusty letters through these veins page by page,
feeling the coil spring coil tighter til spring,
and then heaving ice into oceans with the exhalation of summer's golden trumpeting sunbeams;
dancing and singing.

but

i've momentarily severed my tongue and given up the rungs inside my chest
so i can no longer escalate higher along my spine by scaling meditative rhythmic breaths.
i've chosen something else, apparently;
evolutionarily speaking, i've been told by some who choose to see me this way or that, that i've regressed,
as if they think that by thinking a thing or two they somehow separate themselves from we,
look at me,
and say "i'm not impressed."

words words words, what shall i do with you?
i'd like to say, i'd like to say,
i'd like to not say; just let the words coming my way hush themselves
into the kind of breeze that nods at the tip of your earlobes.

just let me be.
eyes set upon me hungrily devouring the cracks in my skin
where my humanity tries to bury its so-called sins,
resting your mouth,
laying silent nets to catch your head
weaving serpentine righteousness roundabouts
like snakes shedding their skin could change their name;

your young camouflage doesn't reveal anything about me,
it's your love that is not the same.

(DON'T PANIC! this isn't about you, Rachel :)
Share Your Mind: (8) | If You Have Some Time.

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005

Subject:chill
Time:12:05 am.
Mood:bzbzbzbz.


it's winter in america.

p.s. john: half the fat, with all of the flavor!


Share Your Mind: (2) | If You Have Some Time.

Saturday, June 25th, 2005

Subject:my birthday.. oh joyous occasion!
Time:7:12 pm.
July 1st - My 23rd Birthday
July 8th or 9th - My 23rd Birthday Party:

- first and foremost, bring yourself! i miss all you guys. i'm looking at you C.Springs kids. you know who you are.
- most likely in Lakewood (Denver), at our basement apartment
- bring records
- bring me some birthday beer! i like Stella Artois, Guinness, Pyramid Hefeweizen, Newcastle, Boddington's Cream Ale ;)

this is open to all my friends. you know how i like my parties crunkified. i should have a definite time/day up soon :)
Share Your Mind: (16) | If You Have Some Time.

Friday, April 22nd, 2005

Subject:sup
Time:4:37 pm.
this is my life.
Share Your Mind: (3) | If You Have Some Time.

Friday, March 4th, 2005

Subject:poemlet 2
Time:9:50 am.
you make my blood pump backwards for a split second,
doing a double-take wondering
how you could turn this single well of emotion into oceans and lakes.

wrecked with love
Share Your Mind: If You Have Some Time.

Thursday, March 3rd, 2005

Subject:the roflcopter has landed
Time:7:11 am.
Mood:lol.
and now for something completely different:

Share Your Mind: (5) | If You Have Some Time.

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005

Subject:captain!
Time:8:09 am.
*fills up a cardboard box with creamed corn*
*puts a tiny sailboat in it*

"CORN OCEAN DIORAMA!"

[re-broadcast for those who missed it]
Share Your Mind: If You Have Some Time.

Sunday, February 20th, 2005

Subject:fresh electronics
Time:4:32 am.
dear journal,
today i received lots of (hopefully good) new music, and a circuit-bent Casio SK-2 from my homey Josh Speckhals.


dear Casio SK-2,
i can't wait to sample the fuck out of you. your little composite cable patch-bay is soooo hot. holy christ i want to plug those little RCA cables in and out until you scream and squeal!



i had beer, Sapporo it was gooodd.d..dd.d.

moving to Denver soon?
i hope so!

dissatisfied with my music, lately.
relooping to the old approach...
!= sense

enriching my life without has made music more enjoyable and freeflowing and compelling.
writing from feeling or well-conceived thought.... not button-press-this-sounds-neat-try-to-drag-it-out. the result is always, thus far, as shallow as the approach.

time to rediscover the meaning of music again for the Nth time.
Share Your Mind: (12) | If You Have Some Time.

Monday, February 14th, 2005

Time:1:13 am.
hahahahahha livejournal.
check it out i have stuff to say; so i'm not wasting my time here.
see you soon?
Share Your Mind: (4) | If You Have Some Time.

Tuesday, February 1st, 2005

Time:6:57 pm.
no shit.
Share Your Mind: (9) | If You Have Some Time.

Monday, January 24th, 2005

Subject:Too Good To Be True
Time:2:20 am.
accepting love back to yourself... can.... be... a difficult process, occurence, thing...

this is breathing.





...or, maybe before it even begins, i can't bear the thought of losing you.
this is insecurity...
but,

when our eyes float
towards each other,
bridging this moat of simply empty stimulus that is the world we see around us
until our eyes,
interlocking,
comes to be...

like the threads of be were inspired,
and created fundamental particles and the laws of physics,
simply conspired
a material reality...

to allow us to have body,
to wrangle this electro-emotional flight,
this chemical love warfare fight,
trying desperately to prove itself,
that for every anti-particle there is
the artistic gift of life,
good and right,
that out of the darkness really was born light,
and breath,
because to breathe in the presence of your flesh,
to watch your chest heave as i give my own until there's nothing left...

is to believe.

because, i can't fucking believe that your love is happening to me.


because i've spent years,
count em', 3,
but i'm not even 20 + 3,
so that's an 1/8th of my life
just trying to recover from what a different she previously
karmically
wrecking-balled into me.

but not just a poor circumstance,
i'm talking annihilation;
- the fact that a single glance could condemn
and demolish my self-esteem
shaking seemingly iron beams to their
very foundation.

the exacting castration that only the most cold-hearted bitch
could execute with such perfect realization;
the type of cruelty only a masterpiece of betrayal
could adequately express from her imagination...


but,
gripped in the ticking hands of the steadiest surgeon,
accompanied by destiny,
i watched in fascination
as an unrelenting razor threw right angles upon a tree,
felling leaves,
creating black soil,
shaking the bough until it gave forth a seed;

this is i,
that i which temporarily bleeds for the time given for my life to be,
so please,
just gently,
take all of me,

now mercilessly,
because i think it's too good to be true,
that it could grow through the concrete.
Share Your Mind: If You Have Some Time.

Monday, January 10th, 2005

Subject:poemlet 1
Time:12:40 pm.
the wind keeps its secrets in the open.
the body rests and the mind unfurls the sails;
unhindered, the soul receives its destination.
Share Your Mind: (4) | If You Have Some Time.

Monday, December 27th, 2004

Subject:poetry?
Time:4:40 pm.
poetry doesn't mirror life,
life mirrors poetry.

for instance:

my queen fisher,
hanging from the tip of a full moon
casting hooks baited with green eyes
leading
a net of auburn strands
that pulls me
gasping,
from the depths of your heart in which i swim.

(more to follow)
Share Your Mind: (7) | If You Have Some Time.

Friday, December 24th, 2004

Subject:in search of...
Time:1:00 am.
this is dedicated to ...

In Search of Popsicles....

wait, it's winter.


STAY TUNED FOR:

In Search of Tea and Hot Chocolate....
Share Your Mind: (3) | If You Have Some Time.

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

Subject:the leaves falling..,
Time:3:42 am.
a poem? umm..




make quite an imprint on me....
but only on their definite drifting, aimless,
around,
creating a rift between me,
and their beautiful sound-less...

...nature,
so elegant and profound....
delicate,
is the relationship between them and the ground.

blossom,
metaphor, life, and humankind,
for a while, bursting green with the teeming
life of the gift,
gift of life to be seen in their prime;
yet we marvel at a leaf as its life
begins to spline,
splitting threads every which way...

with mortality like twine,
dwindle, the yellow exposing,
in the leaf,
veins like a sign,
sign, signal, signaling death,
commence,
to sign the contract between fire itself and the next step;
fire itself as the branches take their seasonal breath.

heaving, lungs collapse,
and bleeding
further seeding pigments and inject,
final breaths,
as connections slowly detach............

blood, and read these final words,
blood red.......

loose,
disconnect,

at mercy of currents,
falling upon your head....

life is dying,
drifting,
dying,
and dead.

life is a gift,
giving,
loving,
trying
dying,
dead.

a leaf gracefully kisses the skin of your head...
letting you know that you are slowly,
hopefully-
-gracefully,
dying,
dying,
dead.

but not before,
the final pigments,
was ashore
in your veins,
the gift of life,
like the leaf's red,

thoughts in your head,
actualize,
realize,

make the world,
make your world....

before you are washed ashore,
on the ground,
concrete cold,
dying....

dead.
Share Your Mind: (11) | If You Have Some Time.

Saturday, December 11th, 2004

Subject:random music
Time:7:38 pm.
Total Musical Honesty. (taken from toomuchsexy.org)

the rules:
  1. Open up the music player on your computer.
  2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
  3. Hit the “shuffle” command.
  4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That’s right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It’s time for total musical honesty.
  5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don’t have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you’d like.
  6. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
  7. optional: Leave a comment here and tell me you did it.






my list:

1. Sam Cooke - I'll Come Running Back To You
2. Underworld - Cups
3. Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line
4. Bobby Womack - Woman's Gotta Have It
5. Mobb Deep feat. 50 Cent - Clap Those Thangs
6. Fate - Deep Inside (from the Jungle Talk album, DJ Wildchild and MC Skibadee)
7. George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic - Atomic Dog
8. RJD2 - Ghostwriter
9. DJ Spooky & Mr. Scruff - Murderah Style
10. The Pogues - The Parting Glass

btw... this J-Zone track is fucking hotter than... i dunno... walking on the sun barefoot. you better get it.
Share Your Mind: (6) | If You Have Some Time.

*everything, *everything: home for thoughts.

about this:unfo.
thicker than water:Friends.
hindsight:Calendar.
good/bad, happy/sad:Memories.
20 newest entries. time: Prev(20)?.